It’s all in the delivery

There’s an episode of “The Andy Griffith Show” where Andy explains to Opie that it’s always a good idea to give a woman a compliment.  Keeping this in mind, the next time Opie sees a girl playing outside he says,

“You know, you sure don’t sweat much for a fat girl”

Every-so-often Francy will say something and I remember this scene instantly and I wonder if one is born with the ability to give and take a compliment or if it’s something we learn.

I was thinking about some of the stranger “compliments” Francy has given me recently.

The blush:

F: When did you start putting the “pink stuff” on your face again?

M: Why do you ask?

F: Oh it’s nice, you’re usually just so pallid.

The Frittata:

M: Wow babe, I don’t know how you do it, but your frittatas are the best!

F: Yours was good, it’s just that the potatoes were still hard because you’re so impatient when you cook.

* In the past I would’ve gotten angry because 1)accept the kudos and S.T.F.U. 2) the “yours was good” was quickly replaced by the one-two kidney punch delivery of the “you’re impatient” crap.  However, in the same way we disagree about what beige is (note: beige to me is a pale khaki color not unlike a Dunkin’ Donuts light coffee, a pair of Dockers or some bad spray-on tans.  Dingy old whites are not beige, but that’s another argument altogether).

The Hairdresser:

M: Ok, actually like any normal woman when I come home from the hairdresser’s I don’t say anything.  I just wait for the compliment.

F: Wow!  (kiss)

M: Do you like my hair?

F: You look great, but why do you have him make it so flat and straight?

Note:  “flat and straight” are delivered with a tone as if I’d come home with a mohawk or dreads.

Bless his heart.  I don’t blame Francy.  As always I blame his mother and her messed-up family.  He grew up in an atmosphere where direct and overly harsh comments about someone’s physical appearance, cooking and so on were the norm.  He’s learned little by little that it’s not polite and utterly unnecessary.

It’s all in the delivery people.  Trust me.